The Story of Ed - An SEM Fairy Tale from the Future

Once upon a time in the village of Sparkle, there lived a struggling dry cleaner named Ed. Although Ed was the most gifted dry cleaner in all the village, his mix of Yellow Page advertising and direct mail was not generating walk in traffic like it did in the '00's.

At dinner one evening, his wife, Edwina, asked him, "Tell me, dear husband, why are you so sad?"

Ed replied, "My business is failing, dear wife. My mix of Yellow Page advertising and direct mail is no longer working. Soon I will be forced to shutter my doors. I fear you shall never have the commercial-grade espresso machine you always dreamed of."

"Have you considered Google AdMaps?" Edwina suggested quietly.

Ed wrinkled his brow. "What is Google AdMaps?"

"It is a new way to harness the power of local search, dear husband."

"Is it ... expensive?"

Edwina smiled. "Less than the cost of a single direct mail piece."

"Then let us consider it, Edwina! May I have another slice of cheesecake?"

Several days later, Pamela Pennington and her three children, Peter, Paul, and Priscilla Pennington, were piled inside the family's hydrogen powered SUV running errands. While waiting at the bank drive through, Pamela thought, "Perhaps today I will find a dry cleaner for my tablecloth. Perhaps today I will find the One."

Pamela pulled up the GPS screen on her PDA phone and displayed the coordinates of all the dry cleaners in Sparkle. Three of them were tagged as offering specials.

The first dry cleaner was offering 10% off shirts brought in that afternoon. "This is not the One," thought Pamela.

The second dry cleaner was offering a free alteration with purchases over $25. "This is not the One," thought Pamela.

The third dry cleaner was offering a money-back guarantee on hard-to-remove stains."This might be the One!" thought Pamela. She clicked through the ad to the Seller Profile and saw that the dry cleaner specialized in difficult jobs.

Pamela completed her transaction at the bank window and said, "Peter, Paul, Priscilla!  Buckle your seat belts. We are off to see Ed the dry cleaner!"

"Mommy, Mommy! Could he be the One?" asked Priscilla.

"We'll see," said Pamela.

"How can I help you, fair lady?" Ed asked as Pamela entered the store with Peter, Paul, and Priscilla.

"I saw your ad on my phone," she replied. "Behold ... THE TABLECLOTH!"

Ed gasped.

"Will your money-back guarantee cover this? Notice that the pure white fabric has all but disappeared beneath a salad dressing stain from Peter, a spaghetti sauce stain from Paul, and a grape juice stain from Priscilla. In all the land, I have never found a dry cleaner willing to touch it."

"Fear not, madam. Doing battle with the gods of grime is my stock and trade. I will make your tablecloth like new. I will remove the salad dressing stain from Peter, the spaghetti sauce stain from Paul, and the grape juice stain from Priscilla."

"Ed, if you are able to do what you say, I shall make you the most famous dry cleaner in all of Sparkle."

Ed bowed. "I put myself humbly in your hands, madam. You can pick the thing up tomorrow afternoon."

As the weeks passed, Ed noticed more and more new customers trickling into his shop. Before long it seemed as though every citizen of Sparkle wanted his services. He hired two more assistants and began plans to expand his facility.

"Dear wife, it is a miracle! Suddenly we are up to our foreheads in polyester, cotton, and even gabardine. I cannot explain it. Do you think it has something to do with Google AdMaps?"

"Perhaps," Edwina replied. "Have you asked any of the new customers why they came to your shop?"

Ed wrinkled his brow. "No! But that is an excellent idea!"

In time Ed did ask customers why they began to seek him out. He discovered that Pamela Pennington was a high authority contributor to Sparkle's largest shopping Web site and blog. After Ed had magically returned her tablecloth to its original state, Pamela posted a positive review on the blog, which attracted thousands of unique page views and hundreds of comments. More positive reviews and comments began cropping up on other local commerce sites, blogs, and social networks. Because of the heavy volume of  the keyword phrase "ed's dry cleaning", Google AdMaps indexed Ed higher and higher and bestowed upon him larger ads and more favorable placements. In time, no citizen of Sparkle could talk or search dry cleaning without bumping into Ed.

The interactive combination of paid search and social networking proved to be a recipe far more delightful than Yellow Page ads and direct mail. In the years that followed, Ed opened franchises throughout the land and enjoyed life, sitting by the fireside with Edwina sipping espresso from her commercial-grade espresso machine.

The End